A few words on something my little boy said to me the other morning ….

The worries our kiddies have and their heightened anxiety at the moment is huge

Great to be able to give reassurance and take one worry away

Dr Shauna Shapiro, who is a Professor of Psychology in Arizona, talks about how these simple words changed her life when she was recovering from spinal surgery at the age of 17. She explains that by initially focusing on anger, frustration, self-judgement and criticism, that is what she manifested into her life during her recovery. She goes on to explain that by adapting her focus to self-love, self-compassion, self-care, kindness and positivity she was able to manifest these elements to aid in her pain management and her recovery.

This is an example of the power of Mindfulness and how it can truly transform anyone’s life. When we learn how to focus on our present experience, whatever that experience may be, but without entertaining or getting pulled into all the drama, fears, worries, emotional pain and trauma that our brains create around the actual experience, Mindfulness can be a very effective form of pain relief and aid your pain management programme.

There is a scenario I love to use in my teachings. This is called ‘The Two Arrow Analogy’. The basic concept of this traditional Buddhist teaching is that it is inevitable and common humanity that we are all going to suffer pain and discomfort in our lives – this signifies the first arrow of suffering. However, we have the choice as to how we want to deal with our pain and suffering – this represents the second arrow of suffering. We can choose whether we want to shoot or fire the second arrow!!! This analogy helps us to learn how to deal with our normal, human pain and suffering more skillfully.

Let us take the example of someone who suffers with back pain daily in their lives. This is an awful physical pain and trauma for the sufferer and most likely makes their normal daily lives much more difficult. This is the first arrow of suffering. How the sufferer decides to react to this daily back pain and suffering mentally, emotionally and physically is entirely their choice. This is the second arrow of suffering. The sufferer can choose to let their mind, body and emotions become completely overwhelmed and consumed by this daily pain. They can choose to only allow themselves to focus on the level of pain and discomfort they are in. They can choose to replay the pain and suffering track in their minds or verbalise it to family and friends. They can choose to exclude themselves from certain events, outings, gatherings because of their mental, emotional and physical discomfort.

Or the sufferer can learn through Mindfulness to:
• Accept the awareness of and recognise that their physical pain and suffering are part of their present experience
• Acknowledge with compassion to themselves that it is ok and that is expected that they should feel grieved, emotional, physically restricted, tired and frustrated with their pain and suffering
• Gain comfort through Mindfulness that human pain and suffering is part of common humanity and that there are millions of other people experiencing pain and suffering in the same moment

Something else that I always love to reference in my teachings is a quote by Jon-Kabat Zinn, an American Professor and the Founder of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programme:

“Awareness is not the same as thinking. It is a complementary form of intelligence, a way of knowing that is at least as wonderful and as powerful, if not more so, than thinking.”

(Source: Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition): Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness)

So HOW do I use Mindfulness to aid in my Pain Management?

The following is a step by step guide on how to use Mindfulness to aid Pain Management:

1. Every day make time to ‘practice what you want to grow’. In a seated position, eyes gently closed over, bring your awareness and an attitude of acceptance to your current experience of physical, mental or emotional pain. Take 3 connective breaths to this pain, in through your nose, out through your mouth, in through your nose, out through your mouth, in through your nose, out through your mouth.
2. Now bring your awareness to the location in your body that you feel the physical symptoms of your pain. Is it your head, heart, arms, tummy, back, legs, feet?
3. When you locate the area of the physical pain, ask yourself the followings questions: • What can I do in this very moment to help me to manage this pain and suffering more effectively? • How can I be kind, caring and compassionate to myself in this moment? • How can I soothe myself, my emotions and this physical pain right now?
4. Easing into this physical pain and just breathing as you normally would, see if you can name the sensation of the physical pain you are experiencing. Is it sharp, dull, topical, deep, hot, cold, light, heavy?
5. If you can, now place one of your hands on the area of your body where you are feeling this physical pain or your two hands if there is more than one area. Connect to the feeling of your soothing, comforting hands of care, warmth, love and compassion as they rest on your body. Feel your body and the physical pain starting to soften under your hands. Allow your body to feel this pain and allow it to soften, release and gain comfort from your soft soothing touch.
6. Continuing to breath normally, now place both your hands on your heart. Feel the love and kindness for your body, for your pain, radiating out through your hands and into your heart. Resting here as you breathe, connecting to your heart with love and compassion.
7. Now say to yourself, ‘I am here for you’, ‘It’s ok’, ‘I know that you are hurting right now’, ‘you are safe and protected’. Spend as much time here and repeating these phrases as you wish.
8. Feel your physical body and your pain releasing tension and feel the warmth of your connection with your pain through your hands into your heart. Continue breathing love and kindness into your pain and into your body and breathing out fear and tension for as long as you wish.

By Leona McDonnell Mindfulness and Wellness.

Thanks to Deirdre in Deirdre Rusk Photography for her amazing images!! Check out more of Deirdre’s work on her website https://www.deirdrerusk.com/

(As published by The Celtic Media Group in The Anglo Celt, Connaught Telegraph, Meath Chronicle, Offaly Independent, Westmeath Examiner and Westmeath Independent newspapers w/c 28/09/2020)

Whether you live alone or you have others living in the same house as you, when fear, worry, anxiety, panic and perhaps sleep disruption sets in, you can feel like you are the only person in the world experiencing these sensations and that you are the only person in the world awake through no choice of your own at that particular time.

With the normal pace of life, let alone being in a Pandemic, many of us are finding it increasingly difficult to switch off our minds, to detach from our phones, social media, the news and so much more. We may be feeling somewhat threatened, tired, frustrated and a longing for the Pandemic to be over and for life to return to ‘pre-Covid normal’.

It is not surprising that our sleep, rest and repair time can be comprised as with such constant supply of data, information, reports, it is getting much harder for us to switch off at bedtime. It is getting more difficult to let go and detach from case numbers, outbreaks, general sickness at this time of year, worry, fear, anxiety and frustration.

This is where ‘Mindfulness’ and ‘training your brain’ to cope with your current experience in the present moment can really help if you are experiencing a very busy and invasive mind, particularly at night time and resulting in disturbed sleep patterns.

Using one or any of your 5 senses to bring awareness to your current experience, for example sleep disruption, but without the mental DJ playing tracks, of fear, anxiety, frustration, the day just passed, the day yet to come, helps us to just deal with and cope with ‘only’ the fact you are finding it difficult to sleep in that moment. You can detach from all the background noise by using your ‘touch’ sense to place your hands on your tummy, maybe even one hand on your heart and one hand on your tummy and then engage your ‘breathing’ to help anchor you into the moment as you are experiencing it.

I personally find that looking at the clock to see how long you have been awake does not help!! Concentrating and focusing on how uncomfortable and disrupted you feel does not help either!! I really find engaging my breath and using a ‘counting technique’ while breathing works well. I love to breathe in through my nose for a count of 7 and then blow the breath out through my mouth for a count of 11. This is called ‘7/11 Breathing’. Some people like to breathe in for a count of 4 and then breathe out for a count of 4, perhaps even holding your breath for a count of 4 before releasing it.
Listening to some gentle music or a guided meditation also really helps me to detach from all the clutter and noise inside of my head and just focus on the melody or words as I use my breath as my anchor to peace, tranquillity and rest in the experience itself.

By using these tips and Mindfulness exercises, you can ‘train your brain’ to experience just the experience itself, like not being able to switch off your mind and sleep, without engaging with all the associated thoughts, fear, drama’s, emotions that our minds like to convince us is real and happening.

A quote I love to use in my teachings is that by Mark Twain, who was a famous American Humourist, Novelist and Travel Writer. It goes:

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”.

Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/201777-i-ve-had-a-lot-of-worries-in-my-life-most

So HOW do I use Mindfulness and ‘Brain Training’ to help with Sleep Disruption?

The following is a step by step guide on how to use Mindfulness and ‘brain training’ to help with sleep disruption:

1. Commit to yourself to detach from any news reports, social media, scrolling on your phone, replying to text messages or emails for at least 2 hours before you plan to go to bed.
2. Before you are ready to get into your bed, in a seated position either propped up in bed or in a chair outside of your bed, gently connect with your breath and to your present moment by taking a breath in through your nose and slowly blowing it out through your mouth.
3. Continue this pattern until you can feel your neck, shoulders, back and legs starting to loosen up and to let go of the day’s stresses and strains. Feel your body becoming more weighted.
4. Now place one hand on your heart and one hand on your tummy and on your next in-breath, count to 7 in your mind and on corresponding out-breath, count to 11 in your mind. Continue in this easy, relaxed and soft rhythm for as long as you wish.
5. If your mind wanders at any stage during your count and breathing, which it will, as our minds do not naturally stay still, start your count again from 1 as you breathe in for a count of 7 and then blow the breath out for a count of 11. This is how you ‘train your brain’. Every time you notice that your mind has wandered, gently bring it back and start your breath count again without any judgement. You are not failing when this happens. You are actually more present in the moment as you have noticed that your mind has wandered and you then gently bring it back to the present moment by using your breath.
6. Continue this practice for as long as feels comfortable to you. You may start with just 2-4 minutes of practice, but you can slowly build this practice up to even 20-30 minutes. Just like training your body in the gym, you are training your mind to focus in present moment awareness by using an anchor like your breath and sense of touch.
7. If you awake in the night and are experiencing difficulty in returning to sleep, you can follow the steps above, perhaps while lying down in your bed this time, again for as long as it takes to quieten the noisy and disruptive DJ playing in your head and to allow your body to relax in the present moment.

By Leona McDonnell Mindfulness and Wellness. Thanks to Deirdre in Deirdre Rusk Photography for her amazing images!!

(As published in The Anglo Celt, Connaught Telegraph, Meath Chronicle, Offaly Independent, Westmeath Examiner and Westmeath Independent newspapers w/c 21/09/2020)

Please also see the link below to the published article on the Westmeath Examiners website on 28/10/2020:

This is a prime example of how Mindfulness and continuously ‘training my brain’ has completely transformed my life. Years ago, there is no way I would have been able to go into an underground cave or wear a face covering anytime. I would have been completely taken over by fear and panic. I would have felt as if I was about to pass out. Being able to engage my inner strength through my breath to calm and balance my central nervous system and my spiralling thoughts of panic, I have to say I quite enjoyed the tour in the cave!!

But what I enjoyed more was the feeling of elation, strength, power and respect I felt for my mind, body and emotions afterwards. I had done it. I had faced a very overwhelming experience for me and maintained calm and harmony over my mind and body. As I connected to my breath in that moment, all of a sudden all of the unpleasant physical symptoms like my racing heart rate, my quickened breathing rhythm, the pains and cramps in my tummy, they all disappeared as I just connected to the present moment I was in, even if it was a dark, cold, damp underground cave, while wearing a face covering!!

When you think about it, a boat or ship uses it anchor for stability, for security, for deeply connecting itself below the waters surface. The anchor helps to create a pulling sensation, a weighted deepening of a vessel to a deeper, calmer, more tranquil place of rest. This is how our breath can act as our anchor in our body.

Something else to think about, if a boat or ship is wading or floating in calm waters without it’s anchor engaged, it will still drift and coast across the water, perhaps not even aware it is doing so. Now think of a boat or ship that is in deep, stormy waters with no anchor engaged, this is a recipe for disaster. The anchor is one of the main elements that the captain depends on to stabilise his or her boat, to prevent damage, capsizing or even sinking. Using our breath as our anchor can help us to stabilise ourselves in our everyday life. It can help us to take control of our vessel, our body and ensure that we don’t loose control of it and end up capsizing or sinking.

So HOW do I use my Breath as my Anchor?

The following is a step by step guide on how to engage your breath as your body’s anchor:

1. If you are experiencing an undesirable experience or situation or if you feel too energised or elated, firstly bring your awareness to the physical sensations that you are experiencing in your body. Is your heart racing, has your breathing quickened in pace, are your palms sweating, do you feel nauseous, do you have pains in your tummy, do you feel dizzy, are you gone pale in colour, do you feel like you could pass out?
2. Now ask yourself ‘what can I do in this very moment to help myself to feel better’, to help my thoughts pass over and to help to settle the physical sensations you are experiencing?
3. Engage your body’s anchor, your breath. Without changing your normal breathing rhythm, take a breath in through your nose and then blow this breath out through your mouth with a steady element of control. Take a breath in through your nose, blow this breath out through your mouth. Take another breath in through your nose, blow this breath out through your mouth.
4. As you continue to follow this pattern, you may find that your in-breath and your out-breath has lengthened and extended, this is perfectly fine.
5. If you wish, place your hands on your tummy to connect to your breath as you just breathe. If you prefer you could place a caring hand on your heart, and a stabilising hand on your tummy as you relax into this breathing practice.
6. As you continue to breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth, now bring your awareness to how much calmer your breathing pace is, how much slower your heart rate is, how the nauseous feeling or pain in your tummy has settled, how you don’t feel so dizzy any more, how much more anchored, stable and grounded you are starting to feel.
7. Express gratitude to your beautiful mind and body for offering help and support to you in your current experience. Feel the inner strength, courage and calmness oozing through your body as you become more relaxed and anchored.
8. Continue to breathe in this pattern for as long as you wish, there is not set time limit. Some people may feel more anchored and balanced after just 3 effective breaths, some people may wish to continue this practice for 2 minutes up to 20 minutes. There are no rules. Continue to use your breath to connect to your body and you will know what feels right for you.
   

By Leona McDonnell Mindfulness and Wellness
03-09-2020

As published in The Anglo Celt, Connaught Telegraph, Meath Chronicle, Offaly Independent, Westmeath Examiner and Westmeath Independent w/c 7th September 2020

When you think about it, we are all born with a heart which starts to beat very early on in our mother’s womb. From this second onwards, we have the ability to live, to love, to feel empathy and to give and receive kindness and compassion. Our beating hearts keep us alive every single second of every day of life that we are gifted with. They act like the engine room on a ship, a very large, complicated and intricate ship. Just like this engine room on the ship, our heart controls every element of our existence.

We are all gifted with lungs to breathe. Some of us are blessed with two lungs, some with one lung, some with perfectly healthy lungs, some with compromised lungs. Our lungs provide us with essential air and life force every second of every day. Without our lungs, we cannot breathe the oxygen that our body needs to survive. How many of us actually stop and think about what our heart and lungs do for us minute by minute? Some of us do, some of us don’t. We don’t need to as they beat and breathe independently every day. Thankfully, this is the case! If we had to remember to breathe every second to stay alive, we would all be in trouble! Our minds continuously wander and get distracted by life in general, so it would be a difficult task to remember to breathe in order to stay alive. Another question; how many of us express gratitude for these special gifts of life? How many of us view ourselves as being blessed with life every day that we experience our hearts beating and lungs breathing independently?

So essentially, with just these two functioning elements, we already have everything we need within us to stay alive. We can apply the same concept to our thoughts, emotions and feelings. With the fast paced era we are used to living in, so many of us have forgotten, or maybe never realised in the first place, that we can pause, we can connect with ourselves and that we all have control and choices over how we want to live our lives.

This is the fundamental aspect that I lost control over when I was in the depth of my own anxiety and at the mercy of my increasingly destructive thoughts and mind. I felt like I was being continually chased by a dark shadow whom I feared desperately. I didn’t quite know why this shadow was chasing me, but I never wanted to hang around to find out. I was
continually searching and seeking for that ‘professional person’ or ‘practice’ that would ‘fix me’ and help me to feel less invaded by my own thoughts and mind. I never thought for one second that I could in fact be that ‘professional person’ and that I could go on to carve, shape and implement my journey of healing and recovery.

It wasn’t until I started to practice Mindfulness, Meditation and Yoga that I learnt to rest in the uncomfortable space my mind and body was in. I learnt how to be patient with every feeling of panic, with every debilitating fearful thought, with the numerous tears of anxiety, depression and sadness that I shed. I learnt how to treat my mind, my emotions and my physical body like I would treat my very best friend. I also learnt how to soothe and comfort myself instead of ripping myself apart.

The more I developed my own Mindfulness and Meditation practice, the more freedom and space came into my mind and body. I felt calmer, more able to cope with life’s daily demands, less panicky about the normal ups and downs of health, family, work and life in general. I felt I developed more control over my reactions to life’s stimuli. This just happened the more I adopted a mindful approach to living.

As time went on, I realised that I had so many of the resources I needed for my own recovery and daily life inside of my body. I developed a strength in knowing and in using my breath as my anchor to relieve stress, anxiety, fear and panic. I used simple breathing techniques to slow down my heart rate and to slow down and relax my breathing rhythm. Daily Meditation, even for just 10 minutes, helped to create a calm space in my mind and body. Mostly, I would just sit in a quiet room, in my own presence, listening to and connecting with my own breath.

I found that using these internal resources helped me to increase the volume of tools in my mindful toolbox. I discovered that engaging my breathing effectively during each day, particularly at times of heightened stress and anxiety, created a feeling as if someone had opened the valve of a balloon and let some much-needed air release outwards. It took so much pressure out of that balloon. Using daily Meditation became my new ‘rest and restore’. Before this, at some of my lowest points, I found it hard to get through the day without having to sleep for at least an hour. I was exhausted and felt I needed this rest time for recovery. But the more I meditated in the quietness and stillness of my own breath and heartbeat, the more rested I felt and as if I had slept for hours. It gave me a new sense and feeling of empowered energy and zest for life.

The most powerful point in my life was the realisation that ‘EVERYTHING I need is already WITHIN me’. This realisation came only when I stripped back my whole life, when I assessed every element and part of my life. This included determining which parts of my life were working for me and which parts were slowly destroying me. I became personally empowered with the ability to have so much control and choice over my health and well-being and of how I wanted to pursue forward in my life.

I soon realised that all I need in my life is for my heart to beat and my lungs to breathe. Every day that this happens independently is a joyous day and a reason to celebrate and express immense gratitude. Anything else in my life after these gifts are a bonus to be blessed with. I
became confident in the practice of using my breath as the gateway to the life of calm, peace, serenity, fun and laughter that I was continuously chasing for the previous 10-15 years.

Once we have the foundations and core of our existence functioning, these being our beating heart and our breathing lungs, which in turn operate the other systems in our bodies, everything else can be determined by our own choices, by our own power, by our own internal strength and abilities. This realisation is truly life transforming. Having a set of coping techniques in our mindful toolbox is incredible. You can constantly add to your existing internal resources by building up your mindful tools, which you always have access to . You don’t even have to remember to bring them with you! You have your coping techniques internally to use at any given moment and particularly during stressful and anxious times.

The feeling of no longer needing to find somebody else to ‘fix you’ is incredible. The safety in the knowledge that you don’t need to ‘fix yourself’ is truly empowering. You can adopt a mindful approach to living that will help you to live alongside whatever shadows are chasing you. The shadows will become less frightening and more manageable. Developing and nurturing a deep sense of internal resilience and stable strength will empower and encourage you beyond your expectations.

Once you start to believe, practice and instil the belief that ‘EVERYTHING you need is already WITHIN you’, you will experience immense internal and external courage, strength and gratitude that can help you to become the very best version of yourself!

Leona McDonnell

(Published in the Westmeath Examiner on 12/5/2020 and The Meath Chronicle and The Anglo Celt on 13/5/2020)