Dr Shauna Shapiro, who is a Professor of Psychology in Arizona, talks about how these simple words changed her life when she was recovering from spinal surgery at the age of 17. She explains that by initially focusing on anger, frustration, self-judgement and criticism, that is what she manifested into her life during her recovery. She goes on to explain that by adapting her focus to self-love, self-compassion, self-care, kindness and positivity she was able to manifest these elements to aid in her pain management and her recovery.

This is an example of the power of Mindfulness and how it can truly transform anyone’s life. When we learn how to focus on our present experience, whatever that experience may be, but without entertaining or getting pulled into all the drama, fears, worries, emotional pain and trauma that our brains create around the actual experience, Mindfulness can be a very effective form of pain relief and aid your pain management programme.

There is a scenario I love to use in my teachings. This is called ‘The Two Arrow Analogy’. The basic concept of this traditional Buddhist teaching is that it is inevitable and common humanity that we are all going to suffer pain and discomfort in our lives – this signifies the first arrow of suffering. However, we have the choice as to how we want to deal with our pain and suffering – this represents the second arrow of suffering. We can choose whether we want to shoot or fire the second arrow!!! This analogy helps us to learn how to deal with our normal, human pain and suffering more skillfully.

Let us take the example of someone who suffers with back pain daily in their lives. This is an awful physical pain and trauma for the sufferer and most likely makes their normal daily lives much more difficult. This is the first arrow of suffering. How the sufferer decides to react to this daily back pain and suffering mentally, emotionally and physically is entirely their choice. This is the second arrow of suffering. The sufferer can choose to let their mind, body and emotions become completely overwhelmed and consumed by this daily pain. They can choose to only allow themselves to focus on the level of pain and discomfort they are in. They can choose to replay the pain and suffering track in their minds or verbalise it to family and friends. They can choose to exclude themselves from certain events, outings, gatherings because of their mental, emotional and physical discomfort.

Or the sufferer can learn through Mindfulness to:
• Accept the awareness of and recognise that their physical pain and suffering are part of their present experience
• Acknowledge with compassion to themselves that it is ok and that is expected that they should feel grieved, emotional, physically restricted, tired and frustrated with their pain and suffering
• Gain comfort through Mindfulness that human pain and suffering is part of common humanity and that there are millions of other people experiencing pain and suffering in the same moment

Something else that I always love to reference in my teachings is a quote by Jon-Kabat Zinn, an American Professor and the Founder of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programme:

“Awareness is not the same as thinking. It is a complementary form of intelligence, a way of knowing that is at least as wonderful and as powerful, if not more so, than thinking.”

(Source: Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition): Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness)

So HOW do I use Mindfulness to aid in my Pain Management?

The following is a step by step guide on how to use Mindfulness to aid Pain Management:

1. Every day make time to ‘practice what you want to grow’. In a seated position, eyes gently closed over, bring your awareness and an attitude of acceptance to your current experience of physical, mental or emotional pain. Take 3 connective breaths to this pain, in through your nose, out through your mouth, in through your nose, out through your mouth, in through your nose, out through your mouth.
2. Now bring your awareness to the location in your body that you feel the physical symptoms of your pain. Is it your head, heart, arms, tummy, back, legs, feet?
3. When you locate the area of the physical pain, ask yourself the followings questions: • What can I do in this very moment to help me to manage this pain and suffering more effectively? • How can I be kind, caring and compassionate to myself in this moment? • How can I soothe myself, my emotions and this physical pain right now?
4. Easing into this physical pain and just breathing as you normally would, see if you can name the sensation of the physical pain you are experiencing. Is it sharp, dull, topical, deep, hot, cold, light, heavy?
5. If you can, now place one of your hands on the area of your body where you are feeling this physical pain or your two hands if there is more than one area. Connect to the feeling of your soothing, comforting hands of care, warmth, love and compassion as they rest on your body. Feel your body and the physical pain starting to soften under your hands. Allow your body to feel this pain and allow it to soften, release and gain comfort from your soft soothing touch.
6. Continuing to breath normally, now place both your hands on your heart. Feel the love and kindness for your body, for your pain, radiating out through your hands and into your heart. Resting here as you breathe, connecting to your heart with love and compassion.
7. Now say to yourself, ‘I am here for you’, ‘It’s ok’, ‘I know that you are hurting right now’, ‘you are safe and protected’. Spend as much time here and repeating these phrases as you wish.
8. Feel your physical body and your pain releasing tension and feel the warmth of your connection with your pain through your hands into your heart. Continue breathing love and kindness into your pain and into your body and breathing out fear and tension for as long as you wish.

By Leona McDonnell Mindfulness and Wellness.

Thanks to Deirdre in Deirdre Rusk Photography for her amazing images!! Check out more of Deirdre’s work on her website https://www.deirdrerusk.com/

(As published by The Celtic Media Group in The Anglo Celt, Connaught Telegraph, Meath Chronicle, Offaly Independent, Westmeath Examiner and Westmeath Independent newspapers w/c 28/09/2020)

The answer is very simple! You create a time and space in your day, each day and you learn to sit with yourself. You learn to breathe with yourself. You learn to listen to yourself, encourage, motivate and empower yourself. You learn to nurture and care for yourself and most importantly, you learn to love yourself, from the inside out.

Learning to love yourself is without doubt a very challenging task. So many of us cannot bring ourselves to give a compliment to ourselves or others and are even worse at accepting a compliment from someone else. It is an instinct for our egos to take over and intercept before we graciously let ourselves blush in confidence and pride. How many times has someone said to you “wow, you look great, have you lost weight?” How many of us have answered “oh well I could do with losing a lot more!”. This is the ego sabotaging our good work and rail roading our progress. Wouldn’t it be a completely different scenario to reply to the same question by saying “thank you so much, I feel really great at the moment?” A completely different concept really.

My ethos is based around ‘healing ourselves from the inside out’. This is how I transformed my own life. There was a point in my life where I could not stand or sit in my own presence for even a few minutes. I continuously distracted myself with housework that ‘needed’ to be done or calls that ‘needed’ to be made. Anything was easier than having to be present with just myself. So how could I possibly heal or transform myself? I needed to get to know ‘the real me’. I needed to give my mind, body and emotions time to disconnect from each other, repair individually and then reconnect with one another. They needed to reconnect with me, as a communicative and functioning being.

I found the analogy of a butterfly’s life cycle so empowering and healing during this stage of my life. When you think about it, does the caterpillar ever think it will transform after complete metamorphosis into a beautiful free flying, free spirited butterfly? We will never know. But I do know that during this difficult stage of my life, I could never see myself as anything past that caterpillar stage. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin, so full up of past trauma’s, worries, anxieties and fears that I was about to burst. Just like a caterpillar shedding its skin five times before entering its Pupa stage, letting go of the excess plants it had eaten so that it could become more comfortable and lighter in its own skin, I needed to shed layers of my own demons before I could start my transformation.

To do this, I meditated daily, enjoyed yoga, filled numerous notebooks by gratitude journaling, spent a lot of time walking outside with Mother Earth and started to speak kinder to myself. I accepted with compassion the difficult thoughts, the fears, the days which did not seem to go as I wished. I grew to accept and gained comfort from knowing that I was never going to be perfect, I am only human after all. As humans, we will never be perfect, what is perfect anyway? We and life are continually changing and evolving and so we are always on a continuous learning path. We may never be perfect, but we can learn to enjoy the journey.

Upon shedding and letting go of excess baggage, the butterfly then enters its Cocooning stage, it’s protective stage. This is a period of self-growth, of transformation. I used this period of my life as a protective time of self-recovery, of retreat, of reflection and of personal connection. Once I had shed my baggage, I used this time to restructure my mind, to reinvent my thoughts in a positive, kind and compassionate manner. This was a very intimate phase in my healing journey. It was a stage where I wanted to be cocooned with only me, with only my new positive and nurturing mindset and with my new understanding and compassionate way of living.

Slowly over time, my protective cocoon started to break open. I was becoming free. Free of my previous thoughts, memories, anxieties and I was now ready to launch myself and to fly high in life. This is the last stage in a butterfly’s life cycle. Now ready to propel itself into nature as a newly mature butterfly. It breaks free of its cocoon and takes a leap of faith as it waits for its wings to start flapping and flying. This beautiful butterfly completely unrecognisable from the bulging caterpillar a short while before, now a life completely transformed, completely renewed, oozing with an abundance of clarity, of hope, of dreams, of influence, of happiness and of health.

Another interesting concept to think about; ‘can a butterfly fly with only one wing?’ I wouldn’t fancy its chances. We can apply this theory to ourselves in creating and or enhancing our own healing journey or life transformation. Think of one of the butterfly’s wings as comprising of Kindness and Compassion for ourselves and others. Think of the second of the butterfly’s wings as comprising of Mindfulness. Just like the butterfly needing both of its wings to fly, we need Kindness, Compassion and Mindfulness to aid, enhance and facilitate our own personal transformation, healing and life journey.

We can envisage ourselves needing both these wings of Kindness, Compassion and Mindfulness to work together, in sync with one another, in an agreeable and equally effective rhythm in order for us to fly high in our own lives. We are all equally capable of entering a cycle of transformation in our own personal journeys. I guess some of us will decide to do it sooner than others and others will do it later in their lives but maybe at a different pace. There are no rules. Just like every butterfly, we can decide when we are ready to enter our protective cocooning stage and ultimately when we are ready to emerge as a newly transformed being.

We all have this innate ability to develop this deeply intimate relationship with ourselves, to deeply connect with ourselves and to learn to love who we are and to love who we can transform into. The question is, ‘are you ready to spread your wings of Kindness, Compassion and Mindfulness and soar high above your expectations? Are you ready to heal and transform yourself from the inside out?’

Leona McDonnell

(As published in the Westmeath Examiner Newspaper on 16-6-2020 and in
The Anglo Celt and The Meath Chronicle Newspaper on 17-6-2020)