In recent years and in today’s constant, busy, erratic world, everything seems to be getting faster, fitter, more efficient, more effective, more robotic, more automated. It really does seem that there is a new era of this ‘hybrid’ mode of living dawning upon us all. Everything has to perform at the optimum level possible!!!
But is this really the way we want to live our lives? What ever happened to gently working towards our life purpose, our family, our homes, our jobs, our future hopes and aspirations while living wholly and presently in our daily lives? How did the simple mode of working hard and honestly but at a healthy, sustainable pace, allowing room and time for rest, repair and recovery get so lost along the way? How did we enter an ‘all or nothing’ way of living?
That used to be me. I used to push myself to the highest of levels in everything that I did. I had to be the best. I had to get the best exam results, study the hardest, work the longest hours, push my exercise and fitness to limits of exhaustion, sleep little, move fast, while competing against ‘nobody other than myself’. Needless to say, this erratic way of living and behaviour towards myself resulted in mental, emotional and physical illness that railroaded me for over 3 years.
So what was the lesson to learn? It was simple! In order to work hard, to become more efficient and effective, to push myself out of my comfort zone, to achieve my hopes and dreams, I had to ‘take my foot off the pedal’, ‘to slow down’ and ‘retract inwards’, towards my heart and soul. I had to become ‘my own inner coach’, I had to unfriend my inner critic who bullied me for so long and who was constantly pushing me to levels unsustainable to my mental, emotional and physical health.
Once I started ‘my new hybrid way of living’, of understanding, listening to, empowering and motivating myself, I started to feel more fulfilled in every ounce of my mind, body and heart than I did in my whole life! I became alive and present. I learned to accept and love myself from the inside out. I had to do as Brené Brown describes as:
“Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are”
By be-friending, loving and caring for ourselves like we would for someone that we love, we are gifting ourselves the key to set free our true selves, our souls. We are rejoicing to ourselves that ‘we are enough’ and that we deserve to be treated with kindness and affection just as much as anybody else. I really feel that is the secret and most precious ingredient needed to live a happy, healthy, peaceful and fulfilled life.
A life where we can easily motivate and empower ourselves through love and kindness instead of aggression and critical thoughts and words. I believe that way of caring for and nurturing ourselves is a new type of ‘hybrid model’ in the world of positive mental and emotional health and is the one model that has the potential for ‘endless opportunities’ and ‘creating a new era of positivity, love and kindness’. As beautifully described by Shauna Shapiro:
“The key to change is recognising that shame, judgement, and perfection don’t work. When we self-judge, when we put pressure on ourselves, and when we get lost in self-criticism it actually inhibits the brain from learning”
HOW TO ACCEPT, EMBRACE AND SELF-MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO FULFILMENT
- Every morning, upon waking, gently place a hand on your heart and say to yourself, “Good morning, I love you”.
- While getting ready for your day ahead, take 1 minute to make direct eye contact with yourself in the mirror and say out loud, “I respect you, I am proud of you, today you will do your best and your best is enough”.
- During your day, consciously remind yourself to ‘check-in’ with your mind, body and heart. Keep asking yourself, “what can I do in this moment to help myself to feel better?”
- Gift yourself with small mindful moments, time to pause, notice and breathe during your day and time to connect with nature.
- Every night before going to sleep, gently place a hand on your heart and say to yourself “thank you for everything that you have done for me today. Thank you for helping me to nurture and care for myself, for gifting myself with time to rest, repair and recover, for gently encouraging and motivating myself to fulfil my hopes and dreams in a beautiful kind, caring, loving and friendly manner towards myself. Thank you for being enough”.
Thank you as always to Brian O’Loughlin at The Westmeath Examiner and his team at Celtic Media Group (https://www.anglocelt.ie/, https://www.con-telegraph.ie/, https://www.meathchronicle.ie/, https://www.offalyindependent.ie/, https://www.westmeathexaminer.ie/ and https://www.westmeathindependent.ie/ for all their wonderful help!
As published by The Celtic Media Group 15/01/2022
© Leona McDonnell Mindfulness and Wellness 2022